I know that it may seem a bit sexist, but I find i...

2008-05-17T07:56:00.000-07:00

I know that it may seem a bit sexist, but I find it a bit hard to believe there are really that many women out there since all I ever hear about on the news is guys who beat their wives.

This doesn't surprise me at all. It's why I founde...

2007-07-07T00:57:00.000-07:00

This doesn't surprise me at all. It's why I founded the Battered Husbands Support group 10 years ago. You can find us at Battered Husbands Support.

For one crazy person's mistake, eveyone pays. Tha...

2006-02-10T11:20:00.000-07:00

For one crazy person's mistake, eveyone pays. That's the way it goes.

Sounds like what happened to a friend of mine.His ...

2006-02-08T15:44:00.000-07:00

Sounds like what happened to a friend of mine.

His wife, a black belt, strikes at his head, and he very understandably ducks his head and raises his arms, blocking the blow.

This causes a bruise.

The neighbors called the cops, the cops see the bruise on her arm, and, well, the rest of the story is predictable.

Been there, done that. Walked away.It was a bette...

2005-12-18T20:52:00.000-07:00

Been there, done that.

Walked away.

It was a better choice than any I had made since I had first met her and been charmed by her.

Unfortunately I had to walk away several times before I realized that it's not good enough if you go back to her again.

Once she backed me into a corner and screamed "go ahead and hit me, you know you want to". It was tempting, because we had been married for over three years and she had been manipulative and confrontational for the entire time. But I walked away.

Big mistake, I went back.

Two weeks later, she pulled a gun on me. I walked away. Called the police. She was arrested. Denied everything at her hearing, and the cops hadn't found the gun, so she walked.

I walked away from the hearing, determined to have nothing more to do with her.

She followed me, promised to go into intensive therapy. I agreed to support her, if she was sincere about 'getting better'. She said she was, and I believed her. I forgot that she was also a liar.

A week after she entered a private hospital, I went to visit her and she presented me with a handwritten note from her primary psychiatrist saying there was nothing wrong with her, she was just lost and confused. She was always a charmer, where men were involved.

That's when I walked away for the last time. I told her I planned to file for divorce once she was out of the hospital and able to support herself.

Her treatment cost over $20,000, and never did her a bit of good except that she got to play the Prima Donna every day when she performed for her psychologists. She completely dominated her counselling sessions, and convinced everyone who met her that she was the victim in the story of her life.

Her psychiatric team had asked me to come talk with them, and I agreed to meet them at the time most convenient to them to give them my side of the story. I also offered to give them the name of the psychologist who had been counseling us, and to give the psychologist permission to release all of the notes of our theraphy, and to discuss our relationship freely. They called me back a few days later and said my wife refused to see me in counselling, and refused to allow our therapist to discuss her case.

Her children and her mother were living with me in my house, and we went to visit her every night. I waited in the car, and took them home when visiting hours were over. I never saw her again.

A month later, she got out of the private hospital. She moved back into my house, where her children and mother were still living. I moved out before she came 'home', and paid all of the bills.

A month after that, she was dead. Her estranged SON came to visit, got into an argument with her, and killed her with a Dan Wesson .44 magnum which he 'just happened to have with him' ... in a shoulder holster, under his denim jacket.

Then he killed her mother, who was also in the home (my home) at the time. I only heard about it when her oldest daughter called me at work to say "Daddy, Mom's DEAD!" The child had come home from school, found the door locked, looked through the front windows and saw her mother's bleeding body in the front room. She called the police from the neighbors' house, and then she called me. Isn't that a wonderful legacy to leave to your children?

It's a miracle that the police never arrested me. The estranged husband is the first and best suspect, right?

The son was arrested eventually, tried and convicted of her murder. He got a light sentence because the jury found that she was the cause of his own mental instability, due to the emotional abuse to which she had subjected him in early childhood. He is now in prison for aggrevated murder, and will be there until 2152.

Her two daughters? I haven't heard from them for twelve years. I don't know what happened to them. They didn't much like me after I testified against their brother and went to live with their birth father. I sure hope they didn't turn out to be like their mother.

I've not told the whole story before, and I only do so now because it sounds like some people need to know how bad this situation can turn out to be.

I won't identify myself here, but I am a pro-gun blogger, even after all of this.

It wasn't the gun that killed my late wife. I'm not even sure it's accurate to say that her son killed her. He only pulled the trigger.

She was the cause of her own murder.

All of them, all of these sick people who think they can manipulate their families to always get their way, are potential victims of their own sickness.

If you're in a relationship that is troubled by taunting violence, even if it's only emotional or psychological, take the advice that you hear here.

Walk away. Never look back. Leave everything behind. (I left my house, and everything I owned, and after 15 years I still believe it was the best possible decision.)

Just . . . walk away.

I think one of the worst thing to happen in our so...

2005-12-18T20:20:00.000-07:00

I think one of the worst thing to happen in our society is our willingness to crucify men, and deify women. Women like her, and the "I'll get pregnant so he'll marry me" chicks, the "I'll tell him he's the father even though he's not 'cause he has a bigger wallet" girls, the "I'll say he abused me/our kids so he has to pay because I am petty and bitter" bitches.... I could go on and on, make the rest of us look bad - and make it hard to find decent men and get them to trust us. After all, why would a man want to open himself up to that kind of subjugation?

I just hope that at some time very soon there is a backlash, but sites like this remind me that it is a long way off.
http://www.mensbiz.net/welcom.html

Oooo, ooo... obscure movie reference, Joshua (err,...

2005-12-14T14:42:00.000-07:00

Oooo, ooo... obscure movie reference, Joshua (err, Len).

(or does "the only way to win is not to play" have an earlier source than "War Games?" Nothing like smugly attributing some quotation to a movie when it's actually from Shakespeare/the Bible/a greek tragedy to make ya feel silly)