Tuesday, December 13, 2005
The only way to win.....
The 20 year old son of one of my friends has managed to get himself into trouble. For the last year or so he has been dating an 18 year old girl with a 2 year old child (not his). The father of the child has fled the scene and won't have anything to do with the young "lady".....probably the smartest thing he's ever done.
The particular young "lady" has been taught that the proper way to get what she wants is to throw a massive fit. Yes, I said taught. Her mother acts exactly the same way. Bow down to my every whim or I will go berserk. For the last 6 months these fits have been getting progressively more violent. The young man has come home to his parents house with bruises, contusion, scrapes, and cuts. Blood has been drawn on numerous occasions. They have broken up several times, but for some reason they keep making up.
To date, he has made 3 mistakes. (Four if you include ever dating this chick to begin with)
First, he never reported any of these incidents to the police. He didn't want to get her into any trouble, and "it wasn't that bad."
Second, he kept going back. Everyone who knew of the situation advised him to drop her like a hot rock, but he's young and in love and knows everything. Besides......if he loves her enough he can make things right. Yeah, sure.
Third.................................he tried to defend himself the last time she attacked him. He pushed her away while she was attacking him and she ran into a cabinet, leaving a mark. You can probably guess how this turned out. The neighbors had already called the police to report the yelling match next door. The cops show up, he answers the door beat to hell and bleeding in several places, the cops see a mark on the girl and he goes to jail. He's out of jail now, but still facing trial for domestic violence with a minimum sentence of 180 days in jail, 3 years probation, and a $5000 fine -- plus a lifetime of misery. She doesn't even have to press charges. In Arizona, the cops are required to make an arrest in cases of domestic violence and the state will press charges.
Beware guys, the feminazi's have managed to convince the politicians and the courts (is there any difference anymore?) that all men are guilty until proven guilty.
As an aside, I predict that this will actually make things worse for women in the long run. Sooner or later, the more unsavory portions of society are going to figure out that the jail time is the same for a bruise as it is for a broken arm. At that point, their line of thinking will be "If you're going to jail anyway, you might as well make it worthwhile and really beat the snot out of her." This is wrong. I'm not advocating this position. I'm just making an observation here.........
Anyway, here is my advice: at the first sign of trouble, walk away. Not the second time, not the third time, the first time. If anything other than voices is raised, walk away. Don't defend yourself unless your life is in danger. If your life is not in danger, just let them beat on you until you can get out the door. If they do anything at all that is even remotely threatening, walk away.
And call the police as soon as you are out that door.
If you're dating and in a public place, walk away. If you're dating and at her residence, walk away. If you're dating and share a residence, walk away. You can always buy more stuff. Stuff is not worth it. If you're dating and she is at your residence, walk away. Call the police, ask to have her removed, and file charges against her for trespassing.
If you're married the advice is the same: walk away. Just go. Leave everything. Call the police to report the threat (or actual occurance) and file for divorce as soon as the court opens in the morning. Use the police report in the child custody hearing, get custody of your children, and make her pay you child support.
If you're thinking that this sounds very much like the advice given to women who are victims of domestic violence, it is. Men can also be victims of domestic violence, but with a twist. After they are victims at home they become victims of the courts.
The only way to win this game is not to play.
Don't ever give a violent woman a second chance. There will always be more women. If you can't find another woman, turn gay. Just don't ever give one a second chance. They'll ruin your life and laugh about it. Don't think of it as turning tail and running. Think of it as saving your life. The deck is stacked against you and you will not win. The only way to handle this situation is to have every guy in America walk out every time some tricked up bitch decides that she can get away with hitting/scratching/biting/throwing/whatever. Walk out. Every time. After enough guys have gotten up and walked away perhaps they'll figure out that the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction and that the women should start playing fair.
Probably not.
I sure am glad I'm not bitter over my divorce.
_
The particular young "lady" has been taught that the proper way to get what she wants is to throw a massive fit. Yes, I said taught. Her mother acts exactly the same way. Bow down to my every whim or I will go berserk. For the last 6 months these fits have been getting progressively more violent. The young man has come home to his parents house with bruises, contusion, scrapes, and cuts. Blood has been drawn on numerous occasions. They have broken up several times, but for some reason they keep making up.
To date, he has made 3 mistakes. (Four if you include ever dating this chick to begin with)
First, he never reported any of these incidents to the police. He didn't want to get her into any trouble, and "it wasn't that bad."
Second, he kept going back. Everyone who knew of the situation advised him to drop her like a hot rock, but he's young and in love and knows everything. Besides......if he loves her enough he can make things right. Yeah, sure.
Third.................................he tried to defend himself the last time she attacked him. He pushed her away while she was attacking him and she ran into a cabinet, leaving a mark. You can probably guess how this turned out. The neighbors had already called the police to report the yelling match next door. The cops show up, he answers the door beat to hell and bleeding in several places, the cops see a mark on the girl and he goes to jail. He's out of jail now, but still facing trial for domestic violence with a minimum sentence of 180 days in jail, 3 years probation, and a $5000 fine -- plus a lifetime of misery. She doesn't even have to press charges. In Arizona, the cops are required to make an arrest in cases of domestic violence and the state will press charges.
Beware guys, the feminazi's have managed to convince the politicians and the courts (is there any difference anymore?) that all men are guilty until proven guilty.
As an aside, I predict that this will actually make things worse for women in the long run. Sooner or later, the more unsavory portions of society are going to figure out that the jail time is the same for a bruise as it is for a broken arm. At that point, their line of thinking will be "If you're going to jail anyway, you might as well make it worthwhile and really beat the snot out of her." This is wrong. I'm not advocating this position. I'm just making an observation here.........
Anyway, here is my advice: at the first sign of trouble, walk away. Not the second time, not the third time, the first time. If anything other than voices is raised, walk away. Don't defend yourself unless your life is in danger. If your life is not in danger, just let them beat on you until you can get out the door. If they do anything at all that is even remotely threatening, walk away.
And call the police as soon as you are out that door.
If you're dating and in a public place, walk away. If you're dating and at her residence, walk away. If you're dating and share a residence, walk away. You can always buy more stuff. Stuff is not worth it. If you're dating and she is at your residence, walk away. Call the police, ask to have her removed, and file charges against her for trespassing.
If you're married the advice is the same: walk away. Just go. Leave everything. Call the police to report the threat (or actual occurance) and file for divorce as soon as the court opens in the morning. Use the police report in the child custody hearing, get custody of your children, and make her pay you child support.
If you're thinking that this sounds very much like the advice given to women who are victims of domestic violence, it is. Men can also be victims of domestic violence, but with a twist. After they are victims at home they become victims of the courts.
The only way to win this game is not to play.
Don't ever give a violent woman a second chance. There will always be more women. If you can't find another woman, turn gay. Just don't ever give one a second chance. They'll ruin your life and laugh about it. Don't think of it as turning tail and running. Think of it as saving your life. The deck is stacked against you and you will not win. The only way to handle this situation is to have every guy in America walk out every time some tricked up bitch decides that she can get away with hitting/scratching/biting/throwing/whatever. Walk out. Every time. After enough guys have gotten up and walked away perhaps they'll figure out that the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction and that the women should start playing fair.
Probably not.
I sure am glad I'm not bitter over my divorce.
_
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Oooo, ooo... obscure movie reference, Joshua (err, Len).
(or does "the only way to win is not to play" have an earlier source than "War Games?" Nothing like smugly attributing some quotation to a movie when it's actually from Shakespeare/the Bible/a greek tragedy to make ya feel silly)
(or does "the only way to win is not to play" have an earlier source than "War Games?" Nothing like smugly attributing some quotation to a movie when it's actually from Shakespeare/the Bible/a greek tragedy to make ya feel silly)
# posted by 
: 2:42 PM
: 2:42 PM
I think one of the worst thing to happen in our society is our willingness to crucify men, and deify women. Women like her, and the "I'll get pregnant so he'll marry me" chicks, the "I'll tell him he's the father even though he's not 'cause he has a bigger wallet" girls, the "I'll say he abused me/our kids so he has to pay because I am petty and bitter" bitches.... I could go on and on, make the rest of us look bad - and make it hard to find decent men and get them to trust us. After all, why would a man want to open himself up to that kind of subjugation?
I just hope that at some time very soon there is a backlash, but sites like this remind me that it is a long way off.
http://www.mensbiz.net/welcom.html
I just hope that at some time very soon there is a backlash, but sites like this remind me that it is a long way off.
http://www.mensbiz.net/welcom.html
# posted by : 8:20 PM
: 8:20 PM
Been there, done that.
Walked away.
It was a better choice than any I had made since I had first met her and been charmed by her.
Unfortunately I had to walk away several times before I realized that it's not good enough if you go back to her again.
Once she backed me into a corner and screamed "go ahead and hit me, you know you want to". It was tempting, because we had been married for over three years and she had been manipulative and confrontational for the entire time. But I walked away.
Big mistake, I went back.
Two weeks later, she pulled a gun on me. I walked away. Called the police. She was arrested. Denied everything at her hearing, and the cops hadn't found the gun, so she walked.
I walked away from the hearing, determined to have nothing more to do with her.
She followed me, promised to go into intensive therapy. I agreed to support her, if she was sincere about 'getting better'. She said she was, and I believed her. I forgot that she was also a liar.
A week after she entered a private hospital, I went to visit her and she presented me with a handwritten note from her primary psychiatrist saying there was nothing wrong with her, she was just lost and confused. She was always a charmer, where men were involved.
That's when I walked away for the last time. I told her I planned to file for divorce once she was out of the hospital and able to support herself.
Her treatment cost over $20,000, and never did her a bit of good except that she got to play the Prima Donna every day when she performed for her psychologists. She completely dominated her counselling sessions, and convinced everyone who met her that she was the victim in the story of her life.
Her psychiatric team had asked me to come talk with them, and I agreed to meet them at the time most convenient to them to give them my side of the story. I also offered to give them the name of the psychologist who had been counseling us, and to give the psychologist permission to release all of the notes of our theraphy, and to discuss our relationship freely. They called me back a few days later and said my wife refused to see me in counselling, and refused to allow our therapist to discuss her case.
Her children and her mother were living with me in my house, and we went to visit her every night. I waited in the car, and took them home when visiting hours were over. I never saw her again.
A month later, she got out of the private hospital. She moved back into my house, where her children and mother were still living. I moved out before she came 'home', and paid all of the bills.
A month after that, she was dead. Her estranged SON came to visit, got into an argument with her, and killed her with a Dan Wesson .44 magnum which he 'just happened to have with him' ... in a shoulder holster, under his denim jacket.
Then he killed her mother, who was also in the home (my home) at the time. I only heard about it when her oldest daughter called me at work to say "Daddy, Mom's DEAD!" The child had come home from school, found the door locked, looked through the front windows and saw her mother's bleeding body in the front room. She called the police from the neighbors' house, and then she called me. Isn't that a wonderful legacy to leave to your children?
It's a miracle that the police never arrested me. The estranged husband is the first and best suspect, right?
The son was arrested eventually, tried and convicted of her murder. He got a light sentence because the jury found that she was the cause of his own mental instability, due to the emotional abuse to which she had subjected him in early childhood. He is now in prison for aggrevated murder, and will be there until 2152.
Her two daughters? I haven't heard from them for twelve years. I don't know what happened to them. They didn't much like me after I testified against their brother and went to live with their birth father. I sure hope they didn't turn out to be like their mother.
I've not told the whole story before, and I only do so now because it sounds like some people need to know how bad this situation can turn out to be.
I won't identify myself here, but I am a pro-gun blogger, even after all of this.
It wasn't the gun that killed my late wife. I'm not even sure it's accurate to say that her son killed her. He only pulled the trigger.
She was the cause of her own murder.
All of them, all of these sick people who think they can manipulate their families to always get their way, are potential victims of their own sickness.
If you're in a relationship that is troubled by taunting violence, even if it's only emotional or psychological, take the advice that you hear here.
Walk away. Never look back. Leave everything behind. (I left my house, and everything I owned, and after 15 years I still believe it was the best possible decision.)
Just . . . walk away.
Walked away.
It was a better choice than any I had made since I had first met her and been charmed by her.
Unfortunately I had to walk away several times before I realized that it's not good enough if you go back to her again.
Once she backed me into a corner and screamed "go ahead and hit me, you know you want to". It was tempting, because we had been married for over three years and she had been manipulative and confrontational for the entire time. But I walked away.
Big mistake, I went back.
Two weeks later, she pulled a gun on me. I walked away. Called the police. She was arrested. Denied everything at her hearing, and the cops hadn't found the gun, so she walked.
I walked away from the hearing, determined to have nothing more to do with her.
She followed me, promised to go into intensive therapy. I agreed to support her, if she was sincere about 'getting better'. She said she was, and I believed her. I forgot that she was also a liar.
A week after she entered a private hospital, I went to visit her and she presented me with a handwritten note from her primary psychiatrist saying there was nothing wrong with her, she was just lost and confused. She was always a charmer, where men were involved.
That's when I walked away for the last time. I told her I planned to file for divorce once she was out of the hospital and able to support herself.
Her treatment cost over $20,000, and never did her a bit of good except that she got to play the Prima Donna every day when she performed for her psychologists. She completely dominated her counselling sessions, and convinced everyone who met her that she was the victim in the story of her life.
Her psychiatric team had asked me to come talk with them, and I agreed to meet them at the time most convenient to them to give them my side of the story. I also offered to give them the name of the psychologist who had been counseling us, and to give the psychologist permission to release all of the notes of our theraphy, and to discuss our relationship freely. They called me back a few days later and said my wife refused to see me in counselling, and refused to allow our therapist to discuss her case.
Her children and her mother were living with me in my house, and we went to visit her every night. I waited in the car, and took them home when visiting hours were over. I never saw her again.
A month later, she got out of the private hospital. She moved back into my house, where her children and mother were still living. I moved out before she came 'home', and paid all of the bills.
A month after that, she was dead. Her estranged SON came to visit, got into an argument with her, and killed her with a Dan Wesson .44 magnum which he 'just happened to have with him' ... in a shoulder holster, under his denim jacket.
Then he killed her mother, who was also in the home (my home) at the time. I only heard about it when her oldest daughter called me at work to say "Daddy, Mom's DEAD!" The child had come home from school, found the door locked, looked through the front windows and saw her mother's bleeding body in the front room. She called the police from the neighbors' house, and then she called me. Isn't that a wonderful legacy to leave to your children?
It's a miracle that the police never arrested me. The estranged husband is the first and best suspect, right?
The son was arrested eventually, tried and convicted of her murder. He got a light sentence because the jury found that she was the cause of his own mental instability, due to the emotional abuse to which she had subjected him in early childhood. He is now in prison for aggrevated murder, and will be there until 2152.
Her two daughters? I haven't heard from them for twelve years. I don't know what happened to them. They didn't much like me after I testified against their brother and went to live with their birth father. I sure hope they didn't turn out to be like their mother.
I've not told the whole story before, and I only do so now because it sounds like some people need to know how bad this situation can turn out to be.
I won't identify myself here, but I am a pro-gun blogger, even after all of this.
It wasn't the gun that killed my late wife. I'm not even sure it's accurate to say that her son killed her. He only pulled the trigger.
She was the cause of her own murder.
All of them, all of these sick people who think they can manipulate their families to always get their way, are potential victims of their own sickness.
If you're in a relationship that is troubled by taunting violence, even if it's only emotional or psychological, take the advice that you hear here.
Walk away. Never look back. Leave everything behind. (I left my house, and everything I owned, and after 15 years I still believe it was the best possible decision.)
Just . . . walk away.
# posted by : 8:52 PM
: 8:52 PM
Sounds like what happened to a friend of mine.
His wife, a black belt, strikes at his head, and he very understandably ducks his head and raises his arms, blocking the blow.
This causes a bruise.
The neighbors called the cops, the cops see the bruise on her arm, and, well, the rest of the story is predictable.
His wife, a black belt, strikes at his head, and he very understandably ducks his head and raises his arms, blocking the blow.
This causes a bruise.
The neighbors called the cops, the cops see the bruise on her arm, and, well, the rest of the story is predictable.
# posted by : 3:44 PM
: 3:44 PM
This doesn't surprise me at all. It's why I founded the Battered Husbands Support group 10 years ago. You can find us at Battered Husbands Support.
I know that it may seem a bit sexist, but I find it a bit hard to believe there are really that many women out there since all I ever hear about on the news is guys who beat their wives.
# posted by : 7:56 AM
: 7:56 AM
I AM A CAREER DEA AGENT AND HAVE BEEN SINCE 1975.THIS LAUTENBERG AMENDMENT IS PURE B. S...THE CROOKS STILL BUY GUNS AND KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE AND THE LOCAL BEAT COP ALL OVER TEH WORLD..NOW OBAMA WILL CONTINUE THIS CRAPPY LAW AND THE STUFF KEEPS ON
# posted by : 3:41 PM
: 3:41 PM
I was taken to court by an over zealous social worker in 1993. I spanked my kids and in court my attorney said that I should accept a plea bargain. So I did. My wife and I thought that its better than to go on fighting with no money and its just a misdemeanor. I thought it would be off my record in a year. I accepted 2 counts of Misdemeanor Battery. The State of Maryland was saying I left a bruise on my daughters(6 yrs old) buttocks 1 inch by 1 and a half inches. They said I left a bruise on my sons (8yrs old) forehead the size of a pea.(no joke) Our Pastor was so angry at the State of Maryland. My kids are all grown up and finished school and college. They say I didn't do anything wrong. I used to hunt all the time and I am a disabled veteran. I cannot believe that I have lost something dear to me. My 2nd Amendment.
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